hope813

Baby, It's Cold Outside (Chapter Two: A Chilly Reception)

2009-12-25T19:12:26Z

Title: Baby, It's Cold Outside
Author: hope813
Pairing: Finn/Rachel
Rating: PG
Warnings:Through "Sectionals"
Disclaimer: Sadly, this world is not mine.
Summary:Rachel has given up on Finn for good and that's that. Right?

Author's Note: Here is chapter two of my little gift for alifab. I did have a couple of silly errors in the last chapter which have been fixed now! So, for those who read it before the errors were edited, I do know that the singing term is "vibrato" not "bravado." Even more embarrassing is that I am a singer. Never rely on spell-check alone since it can totally change words if you have even one typo! Most of my stories have been from Finn's point of view, so I thought it was time for Rachel to tell her side of the story. Reviews are ALWAYS appreciated and do inspire me to write faster. I have no pride and this is is absolutely a hint! Unbeta'd.

“Rachel? Hey, Rachel, wait up!”

She took a deep breath and, hugging her books protectively to her chest, turned around. “Yes?”

Finn’s eyebrows lifted at her curt tone, then lowered in apparent confusion. She’d always found his cluelessness adorable but lately it grated on her nerves. What kind of greeting had he expected after stomping on her heart and throwing their friendship away? After practically ignoring her for over a month? She sighed. “Was there something you wanted?”

“Yeah, it’s just...well, I thought we should practice the duet,” Finn explained, looking rather unsure of himself all of a sudden.

“Right. We’ll practice Thursday during glee rehearsal,” Rachel turned and began heading down the hallway...in the same direction she’d just come from. Damn. Head held high, she marched back the other way, forced to pass right by Finn.

“Rachel, hold on,” Finn said, taking her arm as she passed. He led her into the first empty classroom he could find, the door swinging shut behind them. Finn dragged her--didn’t he realize that her legs were much shorter than his?--toward the middle of the room. She waited expectantly; Finn, however, remained silent. He just...stared at her. It was unnerving to suddenly have his complete, undivided attention.

“Can you let go of my arm now, please?”

He loosened his grip immediately, looking surprised that he’d still been holding onto her in the first place. She waited for Finn to say something. Anything. Instead, he just stood there, looking lost. Rachel figured that she’d have to take the lead again.

“Finn? What did you want say?”

His breath came out in a long whoosh. “Look, I know you’re mad at me--”

“I’m not mad,” Rachel interrupted.

“You-you’re not?” He shook his head, totally bewildered. “You sure seem mad.”

“No, I am indifferent. Completely impervious to you. If you’ll excuse me, I don’t want to be late for class.” She turned, planning for those words to mark her exit, but Finn stepped to his left, blocking her escape route. She huffed and walked around him, heading toward the door.

“Wait, wait.”

Rachel swiftly turned back, ready to tell him that she was finished with this dead-end conversation but found she was unable to form the words. Finn looked so down, so helpless, that her heart leapt painfully against her ribcage. No, no, no! This reaction was completely unacceptable.

“I don’t know what those words mean,” he admitted, shrugging, one side of his mouth tilting upward in a fleeting half-grin. This was his ‘Aw, shucks, Ma’am’ look. This was number seven on the list of Finn’s Top Ten Killer Moves that Make Rachel Continue to Act Like Complete Lovestruck Fool. She definitely needed to work on shortening that title.

She shook her head, weary. “It means that I don’t care anymore.”

“You don’t--you don’t mean that.” Finn looked as though she’d just told him that there was no Santa...while shooting his puppy. He moved toward her, arms reaching out, then falling back limply against his sides. “Look, I know I hurt you. I’m really sorry, Rachel. But, I don’t want things like this with us.”

“There is no ‘us.’ We’re teammates, Finn. That’s all,” Rachel spoke clearly, deliberately, but not unkindly. Despite everything, she could not find it in her heart to be cruel to Finn. She was completely unable to summon up the energy. Rachel looked him straight in the eye, determined to make him understand, once and for all. “For a long time, I wanted more. You didn’t. You made me believe that you cared about me, but it was a lie to get me to come back to glee to help the team win.” At this, he tried to interrupt, but she kept going, unwilling to stop until she’d said it all. “I know why you did it and I forgave you. I even came back to glee, and I did it because I couldn’t stand the thought of letting you down when you needed me. I did it for you." Rachel paused, straightening to her full height. Although only 5'3, Rachel knew the impact of body language and wanted to make sure that both her words and posture projected strength. "I’m the one who told the truth about the baby when everyone else was more concerned with winning Sectionals. I knew that you were in pain and I tried to be your friend, but you threw it back in my face. I’m finished acting like your life is more important than my life.” She fought with every fiber of her being to keep the tears at bay. “So, yes. I’ll practice the duet with you, because I want to give the best performance I possibly can. Three-fifteen in the auditorium?”

She could almost see the wheels turning in his head, processing her words. Rachel tried to keep up with the range of emotions that played across his face but lost track. She definitely caught the confusion and shock and what might have been anger. At her? At himself? It was impossible to analyze since his expressions went as quickly as they came. She thought that there had been a flicker of something else, but Finn ducked his head, unwilling to meet her eyes. After several moments, Finn swallowed, hard, as though he had something lodged in his throat, rendering him incapable of speech. Slowly he nodded. “Three-fifteen.”

Rachel bobbed her head once and pivoted on her heel. Pulling open the door, she felt an overwhelming sense of satisfaction. She’d said her piece and Finn knew where she stood. She did not even allow herself to look back. Taking a steadying breath, Rachel congratulated herself for finally taking back control of her life.

If only she could control the trembling of her body.

Baby, It's Cold Outside

2009-12-22T01:18:58Z

Title: Baby, It's Cold Outside
Author: hope813
Pairing: Finn/Rachel
Rating: PG
Warnings:Through "Sectionals"
Disclaimer: Sadly, this world is not mine.
Summary:Rachel has given up on Finn for good and that's that. Right?

Author's Note: I've been inspired by the holidays! A Christmas gift for alifab as a small thank you all of her help on past stories. And look, Ali, it's under 1,000 words! I thought it couldn't be done. Unbeta'd.

He was watching her again. She could feel it. Rachel stared straight ahead, refusing to acknowledge his penetrating looks. She was done. Done trying to be his friend, done waiting for him to want her as much as she wanted him. She was just done.

Before Sectionals, Finn had rejoined glee, making her heart swell with hope. He’d been thrilled, almost as much as she, about their triumph that Saturday afternoon. Rachel had known that it would take time for Finn to heal after the blow of Quinn’s betrayal but, given time, Finn would move on. Until then, she’d be his friend.

Unfortunately, Rachel had quickly learned that her plan, like all of her others it seemed, was doomed to fail. Oh, Finn still came to rehearsals. He sang, discussed choreography, and shot out the door the second Mr. Schue ended each rehearsal. No small talk, no smiling, no flirting. She’d tried to talk to him and offer her support, but he’d been very clear that he was not interested. He’d been perfectly nice about it, but it had still sliced her heart into shreds to hear Finn say the words out loud, the ones she’d never let herself consider. I don’t need you, Rachel.

It had been nearly a month since Finn had broken her heart. Again. Yet, lately, she’d noticed Finn looking at her. A lot. She rarely returned his gaze, but when her eyes accidentally met his, she could tell that his looks were purposeful. He didn’t turn away or blush at being caught staring; his eyes just locked on hers, searching for...something. Still, Rachel refused to dwell on those looks. So what if Finn Hudson was paying her attention? She no longer cared. Hardly at all. They were merely teammates. Not even friends anymore. Finn had cut her out of his life and Rachel refused to keep pursuing him. It was time to regain her pride. Nothing, not even love, was worth the constant pain and disappointment. She had other priorities and had neglected them for too long.

“Rachel? Rachel?” She blinked, realizing that someone had been calling her name. Mr. Schue stood in front of her, his eyebrows lowered in concern (and amusement, if she was not mistaken).

She quickly painted a smile on her face. If she looked happy, she would feel happy. Eventually. “Sorry Mr. Schue. I forgot to have my energy shake this morning.”

Mr. Schue chuckled. “It’s okay. I was just assigning songs for the Winter Concert. Principal Figgins is letting us perform six numbers.” he added with enthusiasm. “This is huge, guys. Glee club hasn’t performed in the Winter Concert in nearly seven years, so this is our comeback!”

“Um, Mr. Schue, wouldn’t winning Sectionals have been our comeback?” Artie questioned reasonably.

“Ah, but this is our first public performance since winning. The bar has been set high,” Mr. Schue grinned, clearly unworried about our meeting expectations. “Anyway, I want to do some fun, up-beat holiday numbers. Real crowd pleasers. Let’s avoid the tired songs that are done in every school across the country this time of year.”

Rachel stood abruptly. This is could not allow. “I’m sorry, Mr. Schue, but...it sounds like you are suggesting we ditch the holiday classics.” Her brow furrowed. “It’s always been a dream of mine to perform ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.’ I feel certain that I can do Judy Garland justice. Most singers completely butcher the song with painfully forced vibrato.” Rachel was reminded of her first time competing in the Little Miss Ohio Pagent. Her main competition, Jeannie Allerby, had been blessed with tight, bouncy sunshine curls and baby blue eyes. She’d also been a singer, much to Rachel’s dismay. Luckily, the girl had sounded as though she’d been perched on top of a washing machine whenever she’d performed. Too much vibrato, Rachel reflected, could kill a song. And a career.

“Relax, Rachel. I’m just suggesting that we shake things up a bit. No ‘Jingle Bells’ or ‘Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree,” he replied with a cheeky grin.

Rachel’s eyes darted around the room, stunned by the laughter and visible signs of approval from the other group members. Rachel huffed, clearly out-voted and in no mood to argue.

“I’m not suggesting anything crazy and we’ll be keeping with the holiday spirit, I promise,” Mr. Schue added. “In fact, Rachel, I’d like for you to sing ‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside.” He grinned, anticipating Rachel’s reaction.

He did not have to wait long. Rachel’s eyes lit. It wasn’t ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,’ but it was still a holiday classic and one not often part of a high school’s repertoire, she reasoned. The song’s flirty overtones would be the perfect showcase for her acting skills. It was a duet, though, which meant--

“Finn, you’ll take the male lead,” Mr. Schue said, finishing Rachel’s train of thought. Mr. Schue grinned, pleased with himself. Rachel avoided looking at Finn altogether. She could handle this, Rachel reminded herself. She was a professional, after all, and she and Finn sang together all the time. She turned her head as Mr. Schue walked over to Finn, giving him a friendly punch on the shoulder before returning his gaze to Rachel. “I’m counting on you two to bring the romance back to Christmas!”

Rachel whipped her head back around, refusing to acknowledge Finn’s grin. This just proved it, Rachel decided, eyes widening in growing alarm. Mr. Schue really was out to destroy her life! Ho, ho, ho!

What Comes After

2009-12-06T19:26:16Z

Title: What Comes After
Author: hope813
Pairing: Finn/Rachel
Rating: PG
Warnings:Preview for "Sectionals" to be safe
Word Count: 3,147
Disclaimer: Sadly, this world is not mine.
Summary:Finn has just learned the truth about the baby. How will he deal with the fall-out?

***COMPLETED ONE-SHOT***

Author's Note: I've been trying to picture how Finn will deal with the baby news, and this is what I came up with last night. Please let me know what you think. We'll see how close (or far-off) I am on Wednesday night! Unbeta'd.

Rachel closed the front door behind her, the click of the lock echoing in her mind, sounding more like the slam of an iron gate. So loud. So final. The sound just served as a reminder that she’d failed. She’d failed to help her friend when he’d needed her most...failed to find him and make sure that he was okay. Emotions had been high all day and everything, everything seemed heightened somehow. “Hi Daddy.”

“Rachel, I’m glad you’re home,” he said, hugging her tightly. “Where have you been?”

“The bus hit traffic on the way home from Sectionals,” she fibbed, not up to rehashing the entire story at the moment. “Daddy, is something wrong?” Rachel pulled back, immediately concerned. She was very close with her fathers and could tell when there was a problem. “Is it the Hendersons again? I don’t sing at home anymore between the hours of 8 PM and 8 AM, just like the court order said--”

“No, honey, no. It’s just, well, you have a visitor.”

He suddenly seemed awfully amused about something. “Who is it?” Rachel looked around the living room, but no one was there.

“I told him that he could wait in your room,” he responded, not even bothering to hide the grin this time.

Her eyes popped. “Him?”

“Yes...I can’t quite recall his name, though...”

  “Daddy!” Rachel stomped her foot. He was clearly teasing her now.

“Wait, I remember now! I think it was...hmm...Finn Hudson,” he said in a sing-song voice. “Yes, that was it. Do you happen to know a boy by that name? About 6 foot 3, brown hair, brown eyes, has this adorably lost look about him?”

Finn? Here? “How long has he been here?”

“Almost an hour,” he said, checking his watch. “There was a lot of pacing going on for the first half hour or so. I thought he might actually march right through the floor.” He shot a look at the ceiling. “But it’s been pretty quiet since then.”

“How--how is he?” Rachel asked, dreading the answer.

“He was pretty upset about something, which is why I told him that he could wait. He seemed... almost desperate. I didn’t want him on his own. Did you lose tonight, honey?” He took Rachel’s hand. “He’s taking it very hard.”

“No, no. We won,” she said absentmindedly, barely noticing her father’s unrestrained joy at the news of her big win. “This is about something else. I’d better to check on him.”

“Of course.” He paused, shooting her a knowing look. “Rachel, how is it he knew just where to find your bedroom?”

“He came over to rehearse last week, Daddy,” she replied without missing a beat.

He lifted his brow, clearly skeptical. “Of course.”

She rolled her eyes. “Thank you, Daddy.” With this, she shot up the stairs.

Rachel had been worried sick about Finn since he’d disappeared. In fact, while he’d been here, she’d been out searching for him. After New Directions had been announced the winners, Finn had slipped away. Not that she could blame him; he’d learned the truth about his baby--Puck’s baby--just hours before Sectionals. He’d pulled it together to support the team...to support her, but the emotional fallout had only been postponed, not forgotten.

Upon reaching her room, Rachel took a deep breath, unsure of what she’d find. Would her room be wrecked, with her belongings smashed all over the floor? What if he’d destroyed her pageant trophies? Worse yet, what if he’d found her diary? With that mortifying thought looming, she pushed open the door and was unprepared for what she found. There was Finn. Lying on her bed. Well, apparently, God had finally answered her prayers. Clearly, she should have been more specific about the circumstances that landed him there. She closed the door silently and approached the bed.

“Finn?” He didn’t answer and she wondered if he was asleep. With his back to her, she was unable to tell.

She tip-toed closer, not wanting to disturb him. She heard a muffled sound and saw his body shake and knew that Finn was awake. She eased down on the bed beside him and placed her hand lightly on his shoulder. At her touch, he rolled over, suddenly launching himself into her arms. Thrown off balance by the force of his large body knocking into her petite frame, Rachel automatically wrapped her arms around him to steady herself. As she felt Finn’s chest heaving violently as he tried to hold back his tears, her arms tightened around him. This time it was solely to comfort.

“I’m here,” Rachel whispered. “I’m here.”

*******************************************************************************************

They’d talked. He’d paced, yelled, and cried. She’d embraced, calmed, and comforted.

Finn felt completely betrayed and heartbroken over the loss of a child he’d never really had. After over an hour, he’d fallen silent, looking completely lost. Finally, she’d convinced him to lie back down and rest. She could see that he was completely drained, emotionally and physically. Finn was too tired to even argue, allowing Rachel to take his hand and lead him back to the bed. He’d fallen asleep almost immediately.

Rachel collapsed beside him, exhausted. Watching Finn, she couldn’t help thinking that he looked like a little boy while asleep--so innocent, so peaceful. Unable to resist, she ran her fingers over the side of his face, oh so gently. She’d close her eyes, just for a little while. Finn would need her when he woke, she knew. She’d just rest for a few minutes right beside Finn, feeling his breath against her lips, knowing that this might be her only chance.

**********************************************************************************************

His heavy, swollen lids protested as Finn attempted to open his eyes. They opened a bit wider, seeing Rachel asleep, her face inches from his. She looked really pretty while she was asleep. She looked really pretty all the time, but this was different. She was quiet and calm, two words that could never be used to describe Rachel Berry he thought, his lips twitching. Rachel was always filled with more energy than any five people put together, so seeing her like this was pretty cool, Finn decided. It was private; they were the only two here and he wished that it could stay that way.

Finn stretched his back, careful not to wake her. It was then he noticed that they were holding hands. Had she taken his hand, or had he reached out for hers in his sleep? It didn’t really matter, but his eyes locked on their entwined hands, unable to look away. Look how tiny her hand is. It’s almost completely swallowed by my huge bear paw. Something about it, though, just looked right.

As the fog of sleep lifted, reality set in. God, what a nightmare this day had turned into! Just this morning, he’d woken up, nervous and excited for Sectionals. By the time he’d taken the stage just hours later, he’d lost his girlfriend, his best friend, and his baby. The baby that had never really been his at all. He’d totally freaked out in the chorus room when he’d found out the truth. He knew that everyone had been scared by his reaction. He’d even scared himself; it was like he’d left his body and was watching someone else yell and pummel Puck like a crazy person. He’d completely lost control.

Wearily, Finn rubbed his eyes with his free hand. Quinn’s hot tub story had seemed strange from the start, but he’d believed her. He’d been too stunned and far too trusting to doubt her. Quinn had been right; he was a moron. How different his life would be right now if only he had talked to someone, anyone, and had been set straight. He looked over at the girl beside him. Where would he and Rachel be right now if he’d known the truth from the start? He might be lying right next to her in bed, just like this...but they’d both be smiling.

He was just so confused. Finn knew that he’d had feelings for Rachel for months now. He’d spent many sleepless nights torturing himself over his growing feelings for someone other than his pregnant girlfriend. What a joke! He’d been drowning in guilt and Quinn had been the one who’d slept with someone else. He had to wonder if Quinn had never slept with Puck and gotten pregnant, would they still be together now? Or would he have broken it off because it was Rachel he really wanted?

Finn shook his head, knowing he would find no answers. Plus, all of this deep thinking was making him hungry. The bottom line was that Quinn had cheated and lied, letting him fall in love with a child that was never his. He had loved Quinn, too...or thought he had. Was it possible to love someone you never knew? In the end, it didn’t matter. She’d still broken his heart.

Rachel began to shift and stretch, her eyes blinking like an owl as she woke. “Finn?”

“Hi,” he said, trying to smile.

“How long have you been awake?”

“Just a couple of minutes. How long have we been sleeping?” He shifted, looking for a clock.

She glanced at the alarm clock next to her. “About three hours. It’s two-fifteen.” Suddenly, she shot up in bed. “Oh my God, it’s two in the morning!”

Finn watched, fascinated by Rachel’s sudden shift in mood. Surprisingly, he felt no urge to worry. She’d freak out enough for them both.

“Finn, this is serious. Your mother must be panicking!”

That worried him. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. He powered it on and saw fifteen missed calls and five voice mails from his mom. “I’d better call her back,” he told Rachel, who was busy biting her lower lip. Huh. That was kind of hot.

“Mom? I am so sorry--”

“Where are you?” His mother demanded, cutting him off.

“I’m at Rachel’s. We fell asleep.”

“What? You fell asleep?” She paused. “Why are you at Rachel’s? Is Quinn with you? I was worried sick!”

“Look, I'm really sorry, Mom. I had a really awful day and needed a friend.” He looked at Rachel then, who offered him an encouraging smile.

“Finn, you’re scaring me. Look, I’ll pick you up and we’ll talk. Where does Rachel live?” He could hear her keys jingling in her hand.

No! He couldn’t leave, not yet. Rachel was the only thing keeping his form losing his mind. Besides, there was so much he had to tell her, so many things he needed to say. “Um, Mom, can you wait just wait a little while? I really need to talk to Rachel about some stuff before I go.”

“Finn, it is the middle of the night and I am trying very hard not to lose my temper, here.”

 “Mom, please. It’s very important. I wouldn’t ask, but--” Finn paused as Rachel held out her hand, silently asking for the phone. He shot her a look of uncertainty, but she nodded, mouthing the words “Trust me.” With that, he handed her the phone.

“Hello, Mrs. Hudson? This is Rachel Berry, a friend of Finn’s,” she began, sounding far more confident than she looked. Finn leaned close to Rachel, wanting to hear the conversation. Rachel put the call on speaker phone.

There was a pause and a sigh. “Hello, Rachel. Look, thank you for being such a good friend to Finn. He’s always talking about you.” Rachel looked at Finn, who looked away, embarrassed. “But, it is very late...or I guess, very early, and I think that I should pick him up now.” She hesitated, before continuing. “Finn won’t tell me anything. Is he okay? What happened?” His mom had tried to stay strong on the phone with him, but she was cracking now.

“He’s had a very tough day. I know that he wants to be the one to tell you all about it. I know how close the two of you are.” Finn grinned briefly at this. Rachel really did know how to handle adults. “I would truly like to apologize for both of us falling asleep. We were talking for so long, we must have worn ourselves out. I can assure you that nothing unseemly occurred.”

He heard his mom sigh heavily. “I appreciate that, Rachel. So, where do you live?”

Finn looked at Rachel, shaking his head. “Mrs. Hudson, we fell asleep before we finished talking. I understand that it is very late and an unusual request, but could Finn stay for just another hour? I really feel that it would benefit his emotional well-being if we could finish our talk. It's not a school night, so we don’t need to get up early. Also, I’d be happy to drive Finn home myself. I can assure you that I am an impeccable driver, well acquainted with all road regulations and procedures.”

“Rachel, I appreciate your concern for Finn, but I am concerned for him right now. I want to know what is going on!” He’d never heard his mother so freaked out.

“I understand. Finn is physically fine, I assure you. But, he received some...shocking news today and really needs a friend to help him deal with it. I honestly would not ask if it was not important.” Rachel paused, looking Finn in the eye. “I think he really needs me right now.”

Another pause. “It’s about Quinn, isn’t it?” Rachel didn’t answer and his mother seemed to take that as a “yes.”

His mom was breathing heavily into the phone, as if trying to slow her heart-rate. “Okay, Rachel. One hour. Tell Finn that I’ll be waiting up. With hot cocoa,” she added in a way that made Finn wonder if she knew that he was listening.

“Thank you, Mrs. Hudson,” Rachel said as she ended the call.

Finn let out a sigh of relief. “You’re amazing,” he told her. She offered him a small, half smile. He watched her look away, as if she were suddenly nervous. “Rachel, I...” He knew he had to talk to her, to let her know how that he could never get through any of this without her, but it just wasn’t enough.

“It’s okay, Finn. You’ve been through a lot today, so just give yourself a break.” She took his hand and squeezed. He felt the same exact pressure on his heart, as if she held it in her hand.

Still, he had to make her understand. “I--I’m just feeling so much right now. When I found out, I didn’t believe it. Then, I felt like someone had cut my heart out, you know?”

“Then you got angry?” Rachel asked knowingly.

“Yes, yes! Exactly.” He shot her a look. “I had this...rage. I’ve never been so angry in my entire life! How did you know?”

“You’re going through the Seven Stages of Grief, Finn,” she said with a comforting smile. “When you go through a life-changing event, there are seven steps you go through before you can move on.”

His brow crinkled. “What stage am I on now?”

“I think Stage Four: Depression and Reflection. This is when you look back and try to figure everything out. You also start to realize just what you’ve lost.”

“How long does it take to get to Step Seven?” Stage Four sounded like a major downer.

“There’s no timeframe. It takes as long as it needs to take.” Rachel tilted her head, studying him. “But Step Five is The Upturn. That is when things begin to look up. I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but things will get better.”

Looking at Rachel, he could almost believe it. Still, he couldn’t imagine how things would ever get better. She was right; his entire life had changed today. On Monday, everything at school would be different, too. He’d be a total joke; the idiot that thought he could get his girlfriend pregnant without actually having sex. With that thought fresh in his mind, Finn knew it would take a long time to get to Step Five.

But, watching her, Finn couldn’t help wanting to ask--no beg--Rachel to wait for him. It was a totally selfish move, but didn’t he deserve to be happy after all of this was over? He wanted to tell her that he’d had feelings for her for a long time and that they belonged together. Most of all, Finn just wanted to grab her, kiss her, and forget the crap-fest that was his life. That option might just send him torpedoing straight to Step Five.

All he had to do was move forward, just a bit and...damn it! Seeing her concerned face across from his, Finn knew that his life was a big enough mess and adding Rachel to the mix now might mean losing her later. For good. “Rachel, please remind me that I’m a complete mess and should not be making decisions right now,” he begged, beginning to crumble as his eyes zeroed in on her lips. “Because all I want to do right now is kiss you.”

She took a deep breath. “It’s a terrible idea to jump into anything now.” With that, she leaned forward, her lips meeting his in a soft, achingly short kiss. She pulled back and Finn’s eyes remained closed for several moments, trying to catch his breath. His heart knocked sharply against his ribcage, reminding him that he was still capable of feeling something other than rage and bitterness.

His eyes slowly opened, and the first thing he saw were Rachel’s slightly curved lips, her eyes warm and knowing. What did she know? And why did she always have the answers when he barely knew the questions? Finn reached blindly for hand, emotions spinning out of control. He wanted to jump her right then, bury himself deep inside her, not caring that her parents were probably just down the hall. He also wanted to bolt out the door, sure he’d never felt anything this huge and terrifying in his entire life. It was too much, too soon, and Finn was pretty sure that if he felt anything else today, he’d explode.

“Shh,” she whispered, pulling him close. “It’s okay. That was only a preview of what comes after Step Seven.”

***The End***

Just a Little Crush

2009-11-19T00:24:24Z

Title: Just a Little Crush
Author: hope813
Pairing: Gen, Finn/Rachel and Rachel/Will crush mentioned
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers for "Ballads" preview.
Word Count: 1,356
Disclaimer: Sadly, this world is not mine.
Summary:Emma tries to get to the bottom of Rachel's crush on Mr. Schuester.

***COMPLETED ONE-SHOT***

Author's Note: Watching the commercial for "Ballads," this just came to me. I named it before I even knew that Rachel would be singing "Crush" in this episode.Thanks again to alifab for the feedback! Reviews are like currency...just sayin'.

“So, um, Rachel, why don’t you have a seat?” Emma motioned her arm to the chairs across from her desk.

“Thank you. Can I ask why I’m here?” Rachel, as always, was straight to the point.

“Well, Mr. Schuester mentioned that you might be experiencing, well, a bit of crush on him.” Alright, Emma thought. This did not have to be awkward. She dealt with teen crushes all the time. It did not have to matter that this one involved Will.

Rachel beamed at the mention of Will’s name. “I never noticed how perfect we mesh together. I mean, we sound amazing when we sing, but it’s more than that.”

“M-more?”

“I saw the passion in his eyes when he declared his endless love for me,” Rachel replied, eyes glazed.

Oh, boy. This might be tougher than she’d thought. “Rachel, as I understand it, Mr. Schuester was singing a song, not proclaiming his love.” What had Will been thinking to sing a duet, a love song, with a teenage girl?

“It’s through music that we express what’s truly inside us,” she replied with clear conviction.

“Rachel, why Mr. Schuester? Why not someone your own age?” Suddenly and unexpectedly, Rachel’s face crumbled. Gone was the dreamy look. Well, I’m on to something here, Emma realized. “There is someone, isn’t there?”

Rachel stuck her chin out, confident and defiant. “Not anymore. He’s unavailable and that’s not going to change. I’ve wasted enough time and tears on him. Its time for me to finally move on.”

“Rachel, Mr. Schuester isn’t available either. In fact, I’d say he’s more unavailable to you than almost any other man you could name.” Emma shook her head, trying to work through Rachel’s explanation. “So, why would you pick him--”

“We share the same interests,” Rachel interrupted. “Which you yourself told me was the key to romance.” Emma attempted to jump in at this, but Rachel was not one to let herself be interrupted. “And when he sings to me, everything else, everyone else, just disappears. You cannot control your feelings,” Rachel interrupted.

Emma sighed. “That is true. I’ll bet we all wish that we could, though. Still, I think that there’s a reason that you subconsciously chose to Mr. Schuester. You could have moved on to anyone, right? So, why would you develop feelings for someone that you could never have?” Emma waited, letting Rachel digest this. Long moments passed and Emma considered another direction, but finally, Rachel spoke.

“Because I’m not really ready to move on,” her voice was a ghost. “I--I guess I wanted a distraction, one that wouldn’t hurt so much.”

“Why wouldn’t having feelings for Mr. Schuester hurt as much?” Emma asked, wanting Rachel to reach these conclusions on her own.

“Be-because I don’t love him,” Rachel acknowledged, hanging her head. “I felt a connection with him when we sang, so I guess maybe I built it up into something it wasn’t. It took my mind off of other things. For a while.”

“Rachel, can I ask? Why is this other boy not an option?”

“He has a girlfriend,” Rachel admitted.

“Well, that can be a problem. I want to make it clear that I am not advocating breaking up a relationship, but how does he feel about you? Did you build this relationship up in your mind, too?” Emma hoped that she could help Rachel discover why she was not ready to move on. Perhaps, as she with Will, this relationship was a figment of her overactive imagination. If Rachel could accept that, she might stop harboring feelings from someone that cannot reciprocate. Then again, if this boy had genuine feelings for her, too, maybe there was hope. Emma felt a genuine sense of empathy for Rachel. The girl was so lonely and socially awkward, that if Emma could help her find some happiness, she would.

“I don’t know exactly how he feels about me, but I do know that he feels something.” Rachel’s lips curved slightly. “When we sing together, the whole world disappears. And when he kisses me--”

“Wait, wait. You’ve kissed this boy before?” Emma had already gathered that he must be in glee club since they sang together.

“Yes, more than once. I know it’s wrong since he has a pregnant girlfriend, but there’s something that draws us to one another.” Rachel smiled, although her heart appeared to be breaking. “He gets me...and he likes me. He’s the only one who does. I understand him in a way she doesn’t. I encourage him to be who he really is and not worry about what anyone else thinks. We help each other...we balance each other. How can that be wrong?”

Pregnant girlfriend? Finn. Rachel liked...possibly loved...Finn Hudson. And if Rachel’s version of events could be believed, he might just share her feelings. What a mess! Emma did not know what to say. “Rachel...”

“Don’t worry, Ms. Pillsbury. You can tell Mr. Schuester that I will not embarrass him anymore.”

Emma spoke quickly, not wanting Rachel to focus on the idea that her romantic interest would cause anyone embarrassment. “Rachel, I want you to think about maybe exploring other options. Maybe meeting someone new? I know the idea of anyone other than this boy is hard to accept, but--”

“Ms. Pillsbury, you’ve helped me to realize that I’m not ready to move on. Distractions don’t last, anyway.” Emma knew from experience that this was painfully true. Rachel stood. “It’s not just that I’m not ready to move on. I don’t want to move on.”

Emma wanted to wrap the girl in a hug (after putting on her surgical gloves and rain coat, of course). “Rachel, I understand. I wish that I could advise you to take some time and distance yourself from the situation, from him...but then you’d be losing a friend, your best friend, too, wouldn’t you?” Rachel gave s shaky nod. Emma felt the pressure behind her eyes building. She was trying desperately to hold off the tears she felt for Rachel. For herself. “It also sounds to me like he could really use you as a friend right now, as hard as that must be.”

Rachel smiled, a genuine smile, for the first time. “You’re right. He does need me.”

“He’s very lucky to have you in his life Rachel. I suspect the harder things get, the more he’ll appreciate you.” Emma paused, wanting to leave Rachel with some hope, not not wanting to offer false encouragement. “Things with this boy may not work out how you want them to, but it sounds like you developed an amazing friendship. Believe me, they’re hard to come by.”

“Ms. Pillsbury, that’s one thing I’ve already learned. Making friends is one of the few areas in which I do not excel. I’m not going to let my feelings ruin our friendship,” Rachel said with assurance. “It’s nice to feel needed, you know?”

Emma smiled at Rachel, proud of all they’d accomplished together. She might just be the strongest girl she’d ever met; nothing was going to slow Rachel Berry down for long. That girl was going to leave this office with a new lease on life and, ultimately, that would be the very thing that helped Rachel to move on.

Rachel thanked Emma and waved. Pausing in the doorway, she turned. “Besides, all of the greatest love stories in history have had obstacles to overcome. Destiny will prevail in the end.” With this, Rachel turned, head held high, and swept out of the office.

Emma felt her jaw drop. Well, Emma thought, Rachel had totally missed the point. Was she just going to keeping waiting for something that was never going to happen and keep getting her heart broken? He was having a baby with someone else. How could this turn possibly turn out well?

Then again, what if...? From what Rachel had said, she and Finn might just really have something, after all. Besides, all of the best love stories began with friendship. Her lips twitched. Maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t time to lose hope just yet.

A Push in the Right Direction (Chapter 4: Stay)

2009-11-16T22:19:09Z

Title: A Push in the Right Direction
Author: hope813
Pairing: Finn/Rachel
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Spoilers through "Mash-Up."
Word Count: 3,320 for chapter 4
Disclaimer: Sadly, this world is not mine.
Summary:Rachel is certain that Finn is still holding a grudge against Quinn and Puck and wants to help him move on. As a result, Finn has several unexpected conversations with the women in his life.

***THIS STORY IS NOW COMPLETE***

Previous Chapters:
Chapter One: It's All in the Eyes.

Chapter Two: Turn and Face the Strange.

Chapter Three: She Knows Best.

New Chapter:
Author's Note: Here, we go...the big Finn/Rachel moment. This is the last chapter, so let me know what you think. Thank you to my reviewers! The support truly meant so much to me. Special thanks to alifab for all of her support and ridiculously fast feedback.

As he turned his car onto Rachel’s street, Finn knew that he was probably grinning like an idiot. He’d spent the past hour trying to find the perfect way to tell Rachel how he felt, but he’d still come up short. Somehow, even that couldn’t quite wipe the smile from his face. Rachel had been right; talking to Quinn had been freed him, once and for all. He no longer had any lingering questions or feelings of bitterness. His only thoughts were of Rachel and getting to her as quickly as possible.

He jogged to Rachel’s front door and rang the bell. Huh. They’d changed the bell since last week. Was that Rachel singing “No Air?” What the...that was him singing with her! He could almost feel his jaw hit the floor. The music stopped as the door opened.

“Finn!” Mr. Berry took Finn’s shoulder and ushered him inside.

“Oh, um, hey Mr. Berry,” Finn responded slowly, still confused by the fact that he’d just been serenaded by his own voice.

“Finn, I’ve told you that you can call me Jay.” Finn smiled in return. Rachel’s dads always made him feel so comfortable, like he was part of the family.

“Who is it?” Rachel’s other dad, Michael, came in. “Finn, good to see you.” He paused, clearly noting Finn’s expression. “So you’ve heard the new doorbell.” he rolled his eyes. “Jay, I told you that it was a ridiculous idea.”

Jay took off his glasses and cleaned them using the edge of his shirt. “What? I’m a proud father! The doorbell is the very first impression we make, and what better way to welcome our guests than with Rachel’s voice? And Finn’s, too, of course!” Jay turned and beamed at Finn, fully expecting Finn to agree.

“How...?” Finn asked instead, pointing to the door.

“Oh, Rachel records all of her glee club rehearsals to study later,” Michael added.

Finn was not at all surprised, but why hadn’t he known about it? “Of course she does.” Finn shook his head. “Is she home?”

“She’s in her room,” Michael replied, waving Finn up the stairs. “You know the way.”

Finn took the stairs two at a time. He slowed as he heard her voice floating down the hall. A live performance, he thought with an inward smile. He listened, trying to identify the song, but this was new. It was slow and soft, and definitely not one of Rachel’s typical show-tunes or power ballads.

He leaned against her doorway and just watched. He’d seen Rachel sing before...many, many times. Every time she sang, he felt it--like she was singing for him, about him. He guessed maybe she was. It was almost like when he sometimes watched her MySpace videos alone in his own room at night. Still, this was different. It was more personal, private. He was standing outside of her bedroom watching her sing, and she had no idea that she had an audience.

Standing there, Finn knew that if he could spend the rest of his life doing absolutely anything, he’d chose this. Watching Rachel sing was magic. It wasn’t just about her voice, even though it was totally awesome. No, when Rachel sang, he could see, feel, everything she held inside. Her kindness, passion, fear of failure, desperate loneliness...it was all there, out in the open. All you had to do was look. Most people didn’t bother to pay attention, but he did. He saw Rachel.

Okay, so it had taken time for him to understand. Too long. Finn had known that his heart clenched each time she sang the first notes to any song, but he hadn’t wondered why. He’d never really thought about feelings much--his own, or anyone else’s, really. Instead, he’d asked her to help him become good like she was. He had wanted to be close to her, for Rachel to teach him her secret. Instead, his heart had begun to knock against his chest while they had talked, and she’d told him that he could kiss her if he wanted to. He now knew that’s when it started.

So I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up,
And this woman was singing my song:
The lover's in love, and the other's run away,
The lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay.

Finn could actually feel her heart break as she sang. He glanced down and realized that his hand had somehow come to rest over his own heart. It was on the left side of his chest and everything. Finn could tell that she wondered if she was wasting her time or if she just hang on a little longer. It was amazing and also terrifying that he could see all of this so clearly. It was like suddenly being able to read someone’s mind or something. He wanted to stop her, to hold her, and let her know that everything, everything, had changed. It had only been four hours since he’d seen her, but it seemed like four years.

And you say “stay”
And you say I only hear what I want to...

As she held the final note, her eyes slid closed. Automatically, Finn began to clap. Rachel spun around, eyes wide as she spotted him. “Sorry,” he began, lip curving upward. “I totally didn’t mean to scare you.”

Rachel just blinked up at him, several times, as if trying to make sure that he wouldn’t suddenly vanish. “Can I...?” Finn gestured. Rachel jerked her head up and down, like a puppet on a string. He looked around, awkwardly. Finn had been in her room before. They’d spent a lot of time together following his breakup. In the beginning, it had been clear, even to him, that Rachel had been trying to get his mind off of Quinn’s betrayal and the baby. They’d rehearsed new songs or just hung out and watched movies. There had been musicals. Many, many musicals.

Still, this was different somehow. He’d never questioned if he should sit on the bed or the chair before. Now, for some reason, the question seemed important. Thankfully, Rachel made his mind up for him, sitting down on the bed and patting the spot next to her.

“I didn’t know you were coming over. Is everything okay?” She seemed nervous, which struck Finn as odd. Rachel always seemed so strong. The only time he’d known her to feel anxious had been when she’d had to face Kurt in the Diva-Off for the “Defying Gravity” solo. He’d known was because she’d come right out and told him.

“Oh, yeah. Everything’s fine. I guess maybe I should have called first...”

“No, no,” Rachel jumped in. “I’m glad that you’re here. You can come over whenever you want.” She looked him in the eye then, and he knew then that she really was nervous. Did she sense that something had changed? Could she tell?

“I wanted to come over because, well, I did what you asked. I went to see Quinn.”

Rachel’s eyes widened. “H-how did it go?” Her gaze wandered, fixing on a point on the wall, no longer meeting his.

“It was...um...interesting,” Finn replied. “I think that’s the best way to describe it. It wasn’t what I was expecting, that’s for sure.”

“What happened?” Rachel asked, her eyes shifted back, searching his.

“We talked. She told me why she did what she did.” Finn took a breath. “I can’t really understand it all, even now, but at least I know why. That was the part that bugged me most, you know? What did I do to deserve it?”

Rachel’s eyes flashed. He loved it when they did that. “Nothing, Finn!” She grabbed his hands, as if touching him would make him believe every word she said. Not a bad plan, really. “This was not your fault, any of it! You certainly did not deserve to be lied to about something so huge.”

“No, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.” Finn glanced down at their joined hands before looking back at her. “She said that it takes more than one person to destroy a relationship, and that part is probably true.”

“I don’t understand. What could she possibly blame you for?” Rachel shook her head, obviously thinking that Finn was the victim in this whole mess.

“Things started to change for me and Quinn a while ago, you know?” Rachel tilted her head to the side, silently asking for more of an explanation. Finn paused, wondering how best to say it. “I mean, I changed, I guess. When we started dating, she was the head cheerleader and I was the captain of the football team. I was popular and kind of a jerk.”

“Finn--” She interrupted, prepared to defend him, even when he was the one doing the attacking. Finn had smile at that.

“I was, and you know it, even if you won’t let me say it. But I joined glee and things started to change. I didn’t want to be the guy that left flaming bags of dog crap on people’s porches.”

Her eyes narrowed. “That was you?”

Uh, oh. Retreat, retreat! “Um..well, I didn’t do it, exactly.” She stared him down and her hands tightened, painfully, around his own. “Maybe I drove the car? It was only once,” He rushed to add, offering her a rather pathetic look. “I felt awful after, but that’s what I mean. I didn’t want to just be that dumb jock that did mean stuff to be popular anymore. Other things mattered, too. They mattered more. You know that, right?” Finn wanted her to understand. He needed her to understand.

“I think I do.” For once, he had to struggle to actually hear her. She cleared her throat. “So, Quinn didn’t understand that you had started to want different things. Is that what you mean?”

His face lit. She always understood. “Exactly.” Here came the tough part. “But it was more than wanting to be in glee. She felt like I didn’t pay enough attention to her because I paid too much to someone else.”

Her eyes widened slightly. “Did she...did she find out that we’d kissed?”

“No, but she figured out that I liked you. I guess I’m not real good at hiding how I feel, huh?” He smiled briefly and shrugged. “She even joined glee to watch us because she thought something was going on. I mean, she told me when she joined it was ‘cause she wanted to spend more time together and support me, but...yeah. Not really true.”

“Wow. I mean, I know that she saw me as a threat, but--”

“Wait, did Quinn talk to you about me?” Finn shook his head. This was certainly new information.

“Well, I don’t know it I would call it talking so much as warning me away from you,” she replied, lifting her brows. “Several times.”

Finn was stunned. “I can’t believe you never said anything.” He wasn’t surprised by Quinn’s behavior, but by Rachel’s silence. The thought of Rachel being harassed in any way made him furious. Even more upsetting was the thought that Rachel could have listened to Quinn. He couldn’t imagine if Rachel had suddenly stopped being a part of his life.

“What was I supposed to say? ‘ Finn, your girlfriend doesn’t want me anywhere around you because she knows that I want you for myself?’ You would have run away screaming.” Rachel seemed to be torn between frustration and sadness.

“I would not!” She gave him the I-Know-You-Better-Than-You-Know-Yourself look. “Okay, maybe that would have totally freaked me out,” he admitted. Her lips twitched. Ah, good sign. “But the idea that she could have scared you away...that freaks me out way more.”

A real smile this time, Finn thought. He was getting somewhere! “I’m still here, Finn. No matter what happens or--or doesn’t happen--I care too much to walk away.” She stared into his eyes, showing him that she meant it. “So, let’s just get everything out in the open, once and for all.”

Finn blinked in surprise. Okay, then. Another conversation today was taking an unexpected turn. Finn had planned to tell Rachel all about his talk with Quinn and then confess his feelings for her. His lips twitched. He should have expected Rachel to automatically take the lead. “You’re right. The truth is--”

“Wait!” She plastered both palms over his mouth. Well, Rachel was nothing if not dramatic. “Just...just let me say what I need to say first, okay?” Him nodded, her arms moving up and down since her hands were still covering his mouth. She dropped her hands, stood, and began to pace the length of the room. Finn followed her movements, hoping he wouldn’t get dizzy.

“I think I’ve been pretty blunt about how I feel. I think that you have feelings for me, too, and have for a while.” Rachel paused and glanced down at Finn. Then, she began pacing again, faster now. “But, you and Quinn broke up a while ago and nothing has changed. I hoped that if you got closure, that you’d realize that we could have a future.” He opened his mouth to respond, but she kept going. “Since I asked you to talk to Quinn, I’ve been wondering what would happen afterward. As much as I want for us to be together, I had to consider the possibility that you don’t.” At this, she seemed to run out of steam and moved over to the bed and sat down across from him. “The thing is, I never expected for us to become friends. I feel like you’re the one person who gets me. I don’t want to lose that. So, if you don’t want to be with me, I’ll have to find a way to deal with it. I don’t want to lose you altogether.”

He kissed her. All of his carefully thought-out words went right out the window, and he just went for it. Finn still wanted to tell her that...that...wow, she tasted good. Oh God, here came the tongue. Was that vanilla? Had she been baking again?

Finn wasn’t sure how he’d gotten there, but suddenly, Rachel was under him with her hands in his hair and his hands were sliding under her sweater. If he moved his hand just a little bit, then...yes! Her bra...that was her bra...and he was touching it. And it was lacy.

She tasted amazing, and felt so amazing, and...oh no. Things were definately on the rise. One thing in particular. He jumped off the bed and, misjudging his position, fell over the side. He landed with an impressive thump and reached for his head, which he’d bumped against Rachel’s nightstand. “Ow!” Wait, that was actually helping. Focus on the pain, Hudson, and not, well, other things.

“Finn!” Suddenly, he saw Rachel’s head above him, the upper half of her body hanging over the side of the bed. “Are you okay?”

He nodded and then flinched at the pain that moving his head had caused. He chanced a look at Rachel an saw her shoulders shaking, clearly trying not to laugh. At least not out loud. “Thanks,” he muttered pathetically. Suddenly she was shaking so hard with the effort of holding in her laughter, that tears were gathering in her eyes.

“F-Finn...I’m sorry, but...” Rachel clapped her hands over face, clearly trying to pull it together. He remained on the floor, totally embarrassed, watching her struggle not to lose control. “I’ve just n-never seen anyone fling themselves through midair like that unless they were in the circus.” She took several steadying breaths. “You really shouldn’t work without a net.” With that, she reached out to him and, with several grunts, helped drag him back onto the bed. He didn’t really need the help, but Finn liked watching her try to heave him off the ground.

She plopped down on her back, releasing a deep breath, and Finn spread out beside her. “What brought on that surprising display of acrobatics, anyway?” She asked, suddenly quiet, uncertain. “Did--did I do something wrong? You can tell me, you know.” How could she possibly think that?

Finn turned and took her face in his hands, forcing her eyes to meet his. “No. You were doing everything right and that was the problem.” He waited until her eyes grew wide with understanding. “I mean, we’re in your parents’ house, with your bedroom door open.”

She jolted up, nearly throwing him off balance again. “We’ll close the door.”

Finn blinked. Thoughts of doing just that flooded his mind, until Rachel actually rose and pranced over to the door. Finn caught up with her before she could reach it and wrapped his arms around her from behind. He was absolutely crazy about her. But...someone had to be the reasonable one. He guessed it would have to be him. Boy, were they in trouble.

“Rachel, I guess I haven’t, you know, said what I want to say, yet.” He turned her around so that they were facing each other. “I want to be with you. You’re totally amazing and I am so into you. I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to tell you that, but you were right. Doing that closure thing really helped.” He wished that he had better words, more important words, to let her know how he felt. “After I talked with Quinn, I wanted to come straight here and tell you, but I wanted to find the right way. So, I talked to my mom--”

Her lips curved. “You talked to your mom about this?”

He hadn’t really meant to tell her that. “Well, yeah. It’s just I promised to make it all up to you, and I wanted to do that. I really wanted it to, you know, be special.” God, I sound like such a girl!

Rachel stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his. “It feels pretty special right now.”

Her lips found his again. “I brought some sheet music.” She kissed him harder. “F-for some new duets for us.” He lowered his lips to meet hers when Rachel pulled on the back of his head. “Songs that remind me of you.” Apparently tired of straining her neck, Rachel jumped up and wrapped her legs tightly around his waist, sealing her lips over his yet again. She was so good at solving problems, he thought, unable to wipe the grin from his lips even as she continued to attack them. She always thought of everything.

“Close the door.” Finn could just make out her words, since she refused to pull her lips from his. Bad idea, he thought. Her parents were still downstairs, and...oh God, she was hanging on him like one of those tree monkeys. Her mouth was now making a trail down his neck. He knew he needed to stop this now. Then Rachel raised her head, their eyes locking.

Maybe, he’d better close the door...just for a minute.

A Push in the Right Direction (Chapter 3: She Always Knows Best)

2009-11-15T17:50:42Z

Title: A Push in the Right Direction
Author: hope813
Pairing: Finn/Rachel
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers through "Mash-Up."
Word Count: 2,258 for chapter 3
Disclaimer: Sadly, this world is not mine.
Summary:Rachel is certain that Finn is still holding a grudge against Quinn and Puck and wants to help him move on. As a result, Finn has several unexpected conversations with the women in his life.

Previous Chapters:
Chapter One: It's All in the Eyes.

Chapter Two: Turn and Face the Strange.

New Chapter:
Author's Note: Thank you to my reviewers! The feedback does inspire me to write faster. Many thanks to the amazing alifab for offering her feedback and help.

The whole way home, Finn thought about what Quinn had said about all girls wanting the same thing from the guys they liked. It had sounded kind of sexist, even to him, to assume that all girls want the same thing, but...what she said made sense. What girl wouldn’t want to feel like she was the only one that mattered to the boy she liked? Hell, even guys wanted that. Well, the other way around, of course. Um...mostly.

However, Finn realized that he had probably never made Quinn feel that way. Finn had cared, of course he had, but she’d never been his main focus; Quinn hadn’t been his first thought in the morning or his last thought before he closed his eyes each night. He hadn’t understood that something was missing because Quinn had been his first real girlfriend and it was all so new. Besides, they had seemed perfect together--the head cheerleader and captain of the football team. Even their names rhymed, which Finn had thought was pretty cool. Looking back, Quinn had seemed less amused by that part. Everyone had been jealous of them (that part Quinn had loved), so why hadn’t it worked? The answer, Finn had learned, is that love is messy. The last few months had certainly proven that.

Still, the question was, what now? Finn did as Rachel had asked and his talk with Quinn had gone better than expected, minus the door in the face. Quinn even gave him some surprisingly useful advice. Finn knew it was time to man up and take the next step with Rachel. As much as Quinn’s advice had made him see that it was time, it had also really freaked him out. He now realized how high Rachel’s expectations might be at this point and he didn’t want to risk disappointing her. Again. So, when he went to Rachel, it had to be perfect because she deserved it. Finn just hadn’t a clue how to do it. He needed help and he certainly did not plan on asking Quinn. So...who?

“Finn? Honey, are you home?” Finn heard his mom calling from the kitchen and jogged down the stairs. “Can you just--” Finn saw his mom juggling three grocery bags and grabbed two. She sighed in relief and kissed his cheek. “How was your day?” She led the way to the kitchen, Finn on her heels.

Um...how to answer that one? His mom had been almost as crushed by Quinn’s lie as he had. Did he really want to bring it up? Still, his mom had been even more hurt that he’d waited so long to tell her about the baby in the first place. She’d made him promise that he wouldn’t lie or keep any secrets from her anymore. “It was interesting,” Finn answered as he began unpacking the bags. “I went to see Quinn.”

His mother froze, a look of horror on her face. “Did you...are you two...?”

“No, no. We are not back together.” His mother suddenly looked ten years younger. “I went to get closure.”

“Closure?” Suddenly his mother’s lips twitched. “So, this wasn’t your idea, then?”

Finn huffed. “Why does everyone keep asking me that?” Didn’t anyone think that he was capable of thinking for himself?

His mom wrapped her arms around him, giving him a squeeze before letting him go. “Because I know you. So, how did she convince you to talk to Quinn?”

“Well, she--” Finn stopped. Busted. “How did who convince me?”

His mother shot him the “oh, please” look. “Rachel. What did Rachel do to get you to agree to this?”

“How did you know it was Rachel?” Did he have no secrets? Couldn’t some things be left a mystery? Judging by the women in his life, probably not.

His mom’s smile grew by several degrees. In fact, she seemed to be struggling not to laugh. “Finn, I just mean that it’s obvious that you and Rachel have become...close.”

Finn eyed his mother suspiciously. “What do you mean by ‘close’?”

“Look, it’s obvious you like her. If I’m not mistaken, you’ve had feelings for her for a while now.” She paused, lifting her brow, daring her son to argue. He remained stubbornly silent. “Honey, I think Rachel is wonderful. I have to admit, she’s surprised me from Day One and continued to do so, in the best possible way.”

Finn’s shoulders began to shake at the memory of how Rachel and his mom first met. It had been the day Finn found out the truth about Quinn and the baby. He’d come home form school in a complete rage. His mother had been home and listened as Finn relayed the story. She had been nearly as shocked as her son. She’d tried to comfort him, but Finn had been a ball of fury and restless energy and had stormed over to the front door. Where he’d planned on going he still didn’t know, but he was pretty sure it would have led to trouble. When Finn had flung open the door, there Rachel had stood, holding a tupperware cake holder. Finn had been so stunned, he’d halted in his tracks, his mouth hanging open. She’d marched right past him and introduced herself to his mother.

“Hello, Mrs. Hudson, I’m Rachel Berry. I brought these for Finn...and, you, of course,” so saying, she’d handed Finn’s mother the tupperware. “I can only imagine the pain and confusion that you are both experiencing at the moment and I wanted to lend my support.” She had turned toward Finn, looking uncertain for the first time. “I’ll go if you want to be alone, Finn, but I did want to stop by. In case you needed me.”

That was all it had taken, really. It was like the monster inside of him had been tranquilized by the sight of Rachel’s hesitant smile and the aroma of her baked goods. Looking back, Finn thought he’d actually managed a lame smile. “What did you bring? They can’t be ‘I’m Sorry Cookies.”

Rachel had beamed at him, clearly pleased and surprised that he’d wanted her to stay. “No, they’re ‘Cheer Up Cookies-and-Cream Cupcakes.’ I would have been here sooner, but I had to wait for them to finish baking.”

It seemed that Rachel had gotten there pretty quickly and he’d said as much. Rachel had looked briefly uncomfortable. “Well...I might have gotten home a little earlier than usual.”

“Are you...did you actually skip class? To bake me cupcakes?” That might have been the one thing that could have shocked Finn enough to make him laugh at such a low-point.

“Yes, so go ahead and laugh, Finn Hudson. I’ll have you know that--” The rest of her speech had been cut off by Finn’s unexpected bear hug.

“Thank you.” Rachel had buried her face in his chest and he’d felt the crack in his heart slowly begin to mend.

“She’s a firecracker, that one,” his mom said, forcing Finn’s thoughts back to the present. “She’s a good girl, Finn. She really cares about you, doesn’t she?

Finn cleared his throat, trying to stall. He and his mom were really close, but talking about girls with her was still a little strange. Still, he might be able to use her help. “Mom? Let’s say that a guy...you know...liked a girl. A really special girl. Um...a really smart, talented, know-it-all, kind of girl.” Finn looked up to make certain that his mom was keeping up with him. “Well, how would this kind of girl want a guy to, you know, tell her that he liked her?”

His mom seemed to be battling a full-blown bout of laughter. Finn really hated that look. “Well, it would depend on a few things. How does this, um, special girl feel about this guy?”

Finn couldn’t have fought the grin forming on his lips with a crow-bar. “Pretty sure she likes him.”

“Okay, well that’s half the battle. Is she the hopeless romantic type? Or is she more level-headed? Would she rather have simple words or a grand gesture?” His mom paused, clearly waiting from input from her son.

Oh, God. Finn’s head started spinning like the tea-cup ride at Disney World that had made him throw-up when he was seven. “Um...well. She, she’s the romantic type?” 

“Is that an answer or a question?” Finn grimaced; no doubt about it, his mom was looking way too amused by all of this.

“God, Mom, I don’t know, okay? I--I just...I mean, this guy...just wants everything to be perfect, you know? This special girl really is, you know, special.” Finn smacked his forehead with his palm. Why can’t I be smarter? Why don’t I know what to do or what to say? Rachel deserves better than this lame attempt, Hudson.

“Finn, Finn, stop.” She took his hand and led him over to the kitchen table. She smiled encouragingly. “We’re going to play a little game to help you...I mean this guy...come up with some ideas, okay?

He grinned, suddenly feeling hopeful. He loved games and his mom was really great at making up new ones. Finn remembered the “Pizza Pi” game she’d invented when he was in fifth grade to help him memorize Pi for his math test. Hmmm...would this game involve food, too? No two things helped him focus more than games and food. Except maybe girls now that he was older. Hmm...pizza, Twister, and Rachel. He’d have to revisit that idea later. “Cool. How do we play?”

“Well, I’ll say a phrase, and you’ll say the first thing that pops into your mind.” Awesome! Finn was always just saying what popped into his mind, anyway. “Ready? Okay, here’s we go; what’s the special girl’s favorite color?”

“Pink.” No hesitation. Nice work, Hudson.

“Her favorite hobby?” She asked, not missing a beat.  

“Singing.”

“Her favorite singer?”

“Herself.”

“Biggest dream?”

“To be a star.”

“Favorite actress?” 

“Barbra Streisand.”

“Why Barbra Streisand?”

“Barbra overcame stuff to become a star, like people telling her she couldn’t be famous ‘cause of how she looked. She has a big nose but kept going, anyway.” His mom paused, breaking the rhythm, so Finn looked up. She was staring down at him with confusion written all over her face, but they didn’t have time for that, now. “Mom, keep going, we were on a roll.”

“Oh, right. Sorry. Um...her best feature?”

“Her heart. Her loyalty. Her voice. Her eyes. Her b--” 

“Whoa, whoa!” Finn snapped out of his Rachel-induced daze, realizing what he’d been about to say...and to his mom! Was this game some sort of girl trick, like Rachel and her eyes? How did they do stuff like that? Luckily, his mom didn’t seem mad.

“Only the first thing that comes into your mind, Finn. This isn’t a multiple choice test.” She was openly laughing now, and Finn shot his mother a look of irritation.

“Okay. Can I have a do over?”

“No. Her idea of a romantic gesture?”

“Being taken to New York to see a Broadway show. Or someone writing a song about her. Or someone standing up to Mr. Schue for taking away her solo--”

“Okay, stop there.”

“Sorry...I gave too many answers again, huh?”

“No, no. What I mean is, most of your answers had one thing in common. I think that you--this guy--should think about that when deciding how to tell this special girl how he feels.”

“Mom, you’re the best!” Finn jumped up, wrapped her in a bear hug, before turning to jog up the stairs. When he reached the top landing, he paused, brow furrowing. He turned and called over the railing. “Um, Mom--”

“Music, Finn.” She walked out of the kitchen and looked up from the bottom of the stairs. “Rachel loves music.” So much for the code names. “But you knew that already. In fact, I think you know an awful lot about her already, so you’re over-thinking this.”

Finn grimaced. “Well, that’s a first, huh?”

“Finn, you two care about each other and that is what matters, more than anything. Don’t waste time looking for the right time or right way to tell her, because life is too short.” Her eyes shifted slightly before coming back to rest on her son. Finn knew she had glanced at his dad’s photo on the wall. He also knew, without being close enough to see them, that she had tears pooling in her eyes. “People say that actions speak louder than words. But the truth is, we need the words, too.”

Finn started down the stairs. “I know you’re right, but I never say the right thing. We really, you know, connect when we sing, so I thought about singing to her, but Puck already did that.”

“Puck...?”

Finn rolled his eyes, unwilling to revisit that painful thought. Every time Finn thought of Puck serenading Rachel and the private moments that likely followed, he considered poking out his own eyes out with his drum sticks. “I just want her to know I mean it.”

“Finn, all you have to do is be yourself. That’s what Rachel wants. That’s who Rachel wants.”

“Thanks, Mom. You’re right.” She patted his cheek and gave him a brief kiss before turning back toward the kitchen. But it totally wouldn’t hurt to bring along some sheet music, Finn decided.

A Push in the Right Direction (Chapter 2: Turn and Face the Strange)

2009-11-12T22:13:59Z

Title: A Push in the Right Direction
Author: hope813
Pairing: Finn/Rachel
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers through "Mash-Up."
Word Count: 2, 635 for chapter 2
Disclaimer: Sadly, this world is not mine.
Summary:Rachel is certain that Finn is still holding a grudge against Quinn and Puck and wants to help him move on.

Previous Chapters:
Chapter One: It's All in the Eyes.

New Chapter:
Author's Note:Reviews are appreciated...and motivate me to write faster! No pressure, though. The title of this chapter comes from the David Bowie song, "Changes." It felt fitting given poor Finn's current state of mind. Unbeta'd.

Finn stared up at the large, Georgian-style house with its perfectly manicured lawn, fresh coat of yellow paint, and porch swing that never dared to squeak. He stood there, taking it all in, hardly able to believe that he’d come. Just do it, Hudson. Get it over with and then you can go find Rachel and tell her it’s done. He couldn’t help grinning at the thought of her reaction. Nothing made Rachel happier than having people follow her directions. He wondered if she would be bossy in other areas, too...stop, stop, stop! This was not the time and certainly not the place for those thoughts.

Taking a steadying breath, he rang the bell. Finn shuffled his feet, half hoping no one would answer. No such luck. The door opened and Mr. Fabray stood on the other side. “Finn. Well, this is a surprise.” Although the words were friendly enough, the tone seemed void of all emotion. Not that Mr. Fabray had ever been a touchy-feely kind of guy in Finn’s opinion.

“Um, yeah. Is, uh, Quinn, you know?” Smooth, as always, Hudson. Mr. Fabray nodded, once, and opened the door wider. Finn assumed that he was supposed to follow. Without another word. Mr. Fabray went up the stairs. Finn guessed he was going to get Quinn--Finn had never been allowed in Quinn’s room while they were dating--and waited by the front door. He’s always felt jittery in this house. Like God or Jesus or someone was watching his every move. Looking around at all the religious paintings on the walls still creeped him out.

He heard footsteps and saw Quinn coming down the stairs, followed closely by her father. When she saw Finn, her face erupted into a smile...until she got a closer look at his own. Quickly hiding her initial reaction, she adopted a neutral look, not unlike her fathers. Huh. So that’s where she gets that Ice Queen act from. He’d always wondered how Quinn could be so happy one minute and, seemingly out of nowhere, so cold the next.

“Finn,” she said quietly, shooting a look at her father. Clearly Quinn wanted her father to give them some privacy.

“I’ll be in the living room,” Mr. Fabray stated, clearly emphasizing that he would not be far away.

Quinn focused on her father’s retreating back before facing Finn. “What are you doing here?” She was quiet and obviously nervous.

“Can, um, can we talk?” Finn replied. Quinn nodded and started toward the kitchen, indicating that Finn should follow. Finn sat down at the table. When he looked up, Finn noticed that Quinn was having difficulty lowering herself into the chair. Automatically, he rose, took Quinn’s arm and helped ease her down. She looked into his eyes, searching for something. Finn, uncomfortable, looked away.

“Thanks,” Quinn replied, eyes now focused on her lap. “So, what did you want to talk about?”

Finn shifted anxiously in his chair, trying to remember what Rachel had said. “I need, um, closure, I guess.”

Quinn looked up, her eyebrows raised. “Closure? That’s why you’re here?” The disappointment in her voice was evident. Suddenly her eyes found his again, her lips twisting. “This wasn’t your idea.”

Crap. “Yes, yes it was.” Finn certainly did not want to get into a fight about Rachel at the moment.

“Finn, please. It’s obvious that this wasn’t your idea. I mean, closure? Really?” Quinn shook her head. “So, you’re really here because Man Hands--” She paused at the fierce look Finn shot her at the use of the nickname and relented. “Because Rachel asked you to come. Why? Why would she...oh. She wants to make sure that you’re totally done with me so that she can have you.” She shot him a knowing look. “Am I close?”

“Look, I’m not here to talk about Rachel. I just want to know what happened. Why it happened, okay? Don’t you think you owe me that much?” Finn’s fists were clenched on the table.

She laughed bitterly. He shot her a confused look. “Sorry. I just find it funny that you had no interest in hearing me out when I asked you. When I begged you to listen to me. And here, all it took was Rachel batting her eyes at you for you to come running.” How did Quinn know that Rachel did that thing with her eyes? “Well, that just sums it all up, doesn’t it, Finn? You want to know what happened? Blame me all you want, but let’s not kid ourselves. It takes two people to destroy a relationship.” Quinn paused before meeting his eyes again. “Or, in our case, three.”

“Are you seriously blaming me for you cheating and getting pregnant by my best friend?” Finn was beyond stunned.

Quinn shook her head, clearly frustrated. “No, and I didn’t mean Puck. I mean Rachel.”

She was so not going to make him the bad guy here! “Rachel did nothing to break us up. And not that I owe you any explanation, but Rachel and I are not even together,” he ended defensively.

She looked genuinely puzzled by Finn’s last statement. “You really are an idiot, aren’t you?” Quinn blurted. It was a toss up who was more surprised by the question; Quinn or Finn.

Finn could not believe her nerve. After what she’d done to him, she was going to call him an idiot to his face? Believing her lies had already made him feel like one, thank you very much. “This is just like a nightmare I had the other night. The only difference is from the head up, you looked like a praying mantis. You know, one of those bug-things from science class that eat the males whole after using them?” Finn stood and Quinn rose, too, blocking his path. He made a move to maneuver around her, but she turned around, her increasingly growing stomach making it impossible to get away.

Quinn stared him down. “Sit,” she stated firmly, pointing to the chair behind him.

“You can’t boss me around anymore,” Finn spat. Much to his shock, he found himself shoved down, nearly falling backward in the chair. “What the hell?”

Quinn looked a bit sheepish. “Sorry. The hormones.” With this, Quinn eased herself down into the chair beside him, grabbing the edge of the table for leverage. “Look, I know you hate me and I get it. I screwed up and I hurt you.” She reached out to touch his shoulder, but he flinched. Sighing in defeat, she continued. “Don’t you think I saw it, from the beginning? She wanted you and it didn’t take very long for you to start wanting her.” Her voice lowered. “Why do you think I joined glee club in the first place?”

“You said it was to support me and share my interests,” he shook his head. “Did you ever tell me the truth? About anything?” Finn was clearly getting worked up at this point. “I never slept with Rachel or anyone else.”

“I believe you, but I do think you were cheating,” Quinn said slowly. Finn’s eyes flashed. “Don’t be naive, Finn. Emotional infidelity is still cheating.”

“You’ve been watching too much Dr. Phil.” Finn, not ready to face the truth of her accusation, grew defensive. “This is ridiculous. What’s your point, Quinn?” He was clearly losing patience. He could not believe that Quinn was trying to justify cheating on him. So what if he’d had feelings for Rachel? He hadn’t acted on them...much.

“My point, Finn, is that you are an idiot,” Quinn repeated. “I assumed that the minute we broke up, you’d go running straight to Rachel. We broke up over two months ago, so what are you waiting for?”

“You are so out of line,” Finn got up to leave, but sat back down abruptly. “Am I hearing you right? You actually want me with Rachel? What are you trying to pull?”

Quinn shifted, looking uncomfortable. “I do not want you with her. I’m just wondering why you aren’t.”

“What gives you the right to ask?” Finn countered. Although, he’d asked himself that same question many times recently. Several times a day. Whenever he he was with Rachel, and whenever he wasn’t. Finn wondered what was standing in their way. There was something stopping them, but he couldn’t pinpoint what it was.

“Since I was forced to watch the start of your bizarre courtship while we were still together, I think I have every right to ask,” Quinn snapped. “Look, I’m going to give you some advice. So listen closely.” Finn was looking straight ahead, avoiding Quinn’s gaze. She turned and pinched his arm. Hard. Finn yelped, but his focus, accompanied by a nasty look, were back on Quinn. “Pay attention, because I will not say it again.” She blew out a tense breath. “If you want her, you’d better do something about it. She’s been waiting for you, but she won’t wait forever.”

Finn blinked several times. Did he hear her right? “It’s official,” he said aloud, more to himself than her. “I will never understand girls.”

Quinn laughed at this. “We’re complicated, Finn. This is true.” Her lips twisted humorously. “But when it comes to love, we all want the same thing.”

At this, Finn sat back casually, pretending not to be interested. He didn’t think he was very convincing. “Which is?”

Quinn stared straight ahead, but she seemed to be looking at something that wasn’t really there. “The boy of her dreams to come after her and make her feel like she’s the only girl that matters. The only one that exists for him.” She looked like she was sleeping and awake at the same time, kind of like Finn figured he must look while he was replaying scenes from Skinemax in his head during Social Studies. Even her voice sounded far away. Finn was startled to see the tears in her eyes.

“Quinn--” As usual, Finn wished he had the right words at the right moment.

She hastily wiped the tears from her eyes. “I’m fine, really,” she said lamely. “This is about you, not me.”

Finn wasn’t so sure about that. He also wasn’t sure how she’d done it, but he was now feeling guilty. Quinn was right; he had started having feelings for Rachel long before they’d broken up. Was that why she had cheated on him? Because she’d felt threatened? Whatever her reason, Finn could not forget the months of worry and fear he’d experienced when he thought he’d gotten her pregnant. Even still, it hadn’t taken long for him to fall in love with his child, his little girl. Except, she wasn’t his little girl anymore. She never really was. That he did not think he could forgive. To be honest, Finn didn’t even want to try. “Why are you telling me all this?”

“Because I don’t want this all to be for nothing!” Her eyes suddenly looked wild. “I slept with Puck because I knew that I was starting to lose you. I wasn’t going to let you go without a fight, but part of me just wanted to hurt you like you were hurting me. If it wasn’t for the baby, you probably would have dumped me sooner. For her. Why her, Finn? Of all people?” Finn did not respond and Quinn took a calming breath. “Never mind. I don’t really want to hear the answer to that. Look, I’m never going to like Rachel. Mostly because you like her too much. All I know is that I made a mistake and will be paying for it for a long time. But you...you’re free now. So what are you waiting for?”

Finn was genuinely at a loss for words. Coming here, he wasn’t sure what to expect, but it certainly hadn’t been this. “Are--are you doing okay? You know, with everything.” It sounded lame even to him, but he wanted to make sure that she was okay.

She huffed. “Well, my parents haven’t sent me off to a convent, yet. I’m not allowed to tell any of our relatives, not that I’d want to. They don’t trust me anymore, but mostly they’re embarrassed. I mean, they won’t even look me in the eye anymore. They agree that I should give the baby up for adoption. My mom actually said that once it’s over, we can pretend like it never happened.” Quinn looked more heartbreakingly sad in that moment than he’d ever seen her. “How am I supposed to do that?” Finn didn’t have an answer and Quinn didn’t seem to expect one.

“What about, uh, Puck? How’s he fitting into the picture?” Finn wasn’t sure what made him ask, only that the words were out of his mouth before he’d thought them through.

Suddenly, and surprisingly, Quinn’s lips twitched, this time with actual humor. “He comes over after school to check up on me, even though my parents won’t let him past the front door. My dad keeps threatening to shoot him, but Puck won’t give up,” she sighed. “He leaves all of these random baby things on the doorstep, like diapers for toddlers and teething rings. I don’t think he has any idea that a baby can’t use any of that stuff before it’s born,” Quinn chuckled, unable to hold it in. Then she stopped abruptly, her voice wavering. “Puck’s got this crazy idea that we should raise the baby together and be a family. Can you imagine?” Finn agreed; it was a crazy idea. He certainly could not picture Puck as anyone’s father. What would he teach the kid? Cow tipping? The best way to shoplift a six-pack? Still, this was the first time he’d seen a genuine smile on her face since they’d started talking.

Finn wasn’t sure what to think at this point. Did part of Quinn want to keep the baby, or was it just Puck’s constant attention that made her light up? Either way, Finn knew that it was no longer his business. “I hope that things work out the way you want them to. Whatever that is.”

Quinn looked at Finn, a regretful look gracing her face. “You can’t always get what you want.”

His lips twitched. “Are you actually quoting a song from glee right now?”

She looked taken aback. “I guess I was. They really get stuck in your head don’t they?”

Finn agreed, thinking that music really did say more about life than most people could. If this were one of those musicals that Rachel was always going on about, he and Quinn would start singing right about now. A song of good-byes, endings, and new beginnings. Since this wasn’t a musical, Finn simply said the first thing that entered his mind. “Don’t forget the rest of the song, okay?”

Quinn tilted her head, clearly running through the lyrics in her head. He saw her expression shift the instant she remembered; her lips curved upward slightly, just for a fleeting moment. “I hope you get what you need, too.”

She walked Finn to the door and as he turned to leave, Quinn paused, seeming to need a moment to find the right way to say goodbye. Her final words were delivered with the perfect blend of mischief and spite. “And good luck to you if you get her. You’ll need it.” With this, the door snapped shut in his face.

Couples Counseling (Chapter 1: Finn's Brilliant Plan)

2009-11-11T03:58:44Z

Title: Couples Counseling
Author: hope813
Pairing: Finn/Rachel
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers through "Mash-Up."
Word Count:1,009 for chapter one
Disclaimer: Sadly, this world is not mine.
Summary: Finn comes up with a plan to convince Rachel that they can finally be together. Now, he just has to convince her to go along with it. The story takes place two months after the events of "Mash-Up."

Author's Note: I just cannot get Finn and Rachel out of my head! This story is separate from my first story, "Shot in the Heart (And You're To Blame)." I felt like it would be nice to see Finn do the pursuing for a change and tried to come up with a way that was in-character for both Finn and Rachel. Reviews are welcome and do inspire me to write faster!

“Finn, I told you that this is not the right time,” Rachel declared with a long-suffering sigh. This adorably frustrating man-child would surely be the death of her.

“And I told you, that I think it is the right time.” She started down the hall toward her locker, and Finn rushed to catch up. “Look, Rachel,” he began, standing in front of her to block her path of escape. “I know that we’ve talked about this before--”

“Yes, we have. Over and over again,” Rachel replied, dangerously close to tears. Didn’t he understand how hard this was for her? That she was saying “no” to him not because she wanted to, but in order to protect their friendship? To save any shot they might have for a real relationship in the future? “Finn,” she began, taking a calming breath. “I will not be a rebound or a distraction.” Seeing his downcast look, Rachel took Finn’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’ve been your friend and will help you to get over everything that’s happened, but getting involved now is a terrible idea.”

Rachel made a move to duck under Finn’s arm, but he gripped her hand and held her back. “You would not be...are not...a rebound.” He lifted their still entwined hands to his lips and kissed the back of her hand, eyes locked on hers. “I’m not giving up.”

Rachel stood stock-still as Finn strode down the hallway, both ignoring the catcalls of those that had witnessed his uncharacteristic display of affection. Rachel knew that the new topic in the gossip mill would be that Finn Hudson was rebounding with glee outcast, Rachel Berry. They would wonder how he had fallen so far, so quickly. The buzz still hadn’t died down about Quinn cheating on Finn and lying about Finn being her baby’s father. All of that she could and would deal with. Rachel knew that she was strong and would not cave under the scrutiny and taunting of her peers. Still, it broke her heart that Finn, once the King of McKinley’s High’s Social Monarchy, was now treated like the court jester. She had supported Finn through it all and would continue to do so. Sill, as much as she wanted more than friendship, Rachel knew it was asking for trouble. Finn was still bitter and hurting over the betrayal and was in no place to begin a healthy relationship. Still, Finn’s words echoed in her head and ached in heart. I’m not giving up. She prayed that it was true.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, Ms. Pillsbury?”

Emma looked up to see Finn Hudson standing in her office doorway. He was wearing a lopsided grin, which was a welcome change. The news that Quinn Fabray had cheated on him and was, in fact, carrying Noah Puckerman’s baby had spread through the school like wildfire. Finn had taken it especially hard and it had taken half of the football team to keep him from killing his best friend. Emma found it sweet and very telling that while six muscle-bound jocks had trouble restraining him, that all it took was one small girl calling his name to have Finn freeze in his tracks. Rachel Berry had simply walked forward, taken Finn’s large hand in her own tiny one, and led him down the hallway, much like an owner walking a puppy on a leash. He just seemed helpless to resist her.

For the past two weeks, Emma had tried to get Finn to open up to her about his feelings, but he had remained stubbornly silent. It did not surprise her, but Will had told her that had been talking to Finn and offering his support. Emma was grateful that Finn had Will in his life as a mentor and a friend. Will had also told her (confidentially, of course) that Finn had been spending a lot of time with Rachel and that she was probably the main thing helping him through it all.

“Finn, what can I do for you?” Finn took that as an invitation and plopped down in the chair opposite her desk. He leaned in forward, all business. “I was wondering if I could make an appointment with you for tomorrow,” he replied, looking immensely pleased with himself.

Emma smiled widely, both surprised and pleased. “Absolutely...um, what about fifth period?” She asked, flipping through her plan book.

“Perfect...I have algebra!” He began to rise, then plopped back down. “Actually, I probably shouldn’t miss that class,” Finn stated with great regret. He offered another lopsided grin, “The only class I can afford to miss is gym.”

“Well, that is very responsible of you,” Emma declared with a nod of approval.

“Rachel would probably lecture me for an hour about ‘the importance of academic achievement’ if I missed the class,” he replied with a look of sham irritation which suggested that Finn wouldn’t really mind such a lecture, so long as Rachel was the one delivering it.

Emma hid a grin and looked up Finn’s schedule on the computer. “So, you have gym seventh period, so how about then?”

Finn jumped up. “Perfect! Rachel has Bio seventh. She is still mad that Mr. Willis gave her an A- on her respiration essay because she got into musical theater camp in the sixth grade and his daughter didn’t.” Emma struggled not to laugh. As paranoid as that explanation sounded, she knew that Mr. Willis was not above such behavior.

“Wait...I thought that the appointment was for you,” Emma replied, shaking her head, trying to sort through Finn’s request, sure that she had missed a step somewhere.

“Oh, it’s for both of us,” Finn announced, again looking rather proud.

A Push in the Right Direction

2009-11-11T03:32:37Z

Title: A Push in the Right Direction
Author: hope813
Pairing: Finn/Rachel
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers through "Mash-Up."
Word Count: 1,471 for chapter 1
Disclaimer: Sadly, this world is not mine.
Summary:Rachel is certain that Finn is still holding a grudge against Quinn and Puck and wants to help him move on.

Author's Note: Reviews are appreciated. Unbeta'd.

Finn Hudson was sure he’d never heard anything so crazy in his life, and that was saying something considering the source. Rachel lifted her brow at him gave him that look. The look that meant that he’d be forced to suffer through another lecture that may or may not include pie charts and research just to prove her point. Looking at the stubborn tilt of her chin, he knew it might just be easier to agree with her, after all. As much as Rachel had come to mean to him, she could still really freak him out sometimes. Still, he’d be damned if he’d agree with her on this one!

“Finn, it’s the only way. Just do it and get it over with,” Rachel had changed tactics now. She reached up and laid her hand gently on his chest and batted her big, brown eyes up at him. He was a sucker for this move and she knew it. He sighed, weakening.

Finn forced himself to look away, knowing he had to make this decision without Rachel doing that Jedi MInd-Trick thing with her eyes. He fixed his gaze on the ceiling before answering, just to be safe. “Rachel, stop pushing this. I am not going there again. I’m done.” Suddenly, his chin, trapped between Rachel’s thumb and forefinger, was forced downward. Finn had no choice but to look directly at her. Damn, those eyes again!

“Finn, this is the mature thing to do. Just face it, once and for all, so that you can move on.” Looking at her, he saw the quick flash of pain before she averted her eyes. She hadn’t said it, hadn’t once pushed, but he knew what she meant. Rachel wanted him to move on so that they could move on. Together. Finn wanted to be with Rachel. He really did, but he just couldn’t seem to make himself take that step. What the hell was wrong with him?

“I don’t want to talk to her, okay? I can be in the same room with her, isn’t that good enough?” It was desperate and not all convincing, but he had to try didn’t he?

She sighed. “No. It is not good enough and you know it.” She took his hands in hers. “What Quinn did to you was terrible and devastating, so why let her take away more?”

“She slept with my best friend, got pregnant, and made me think I was the father.” He laughed without a trace of humor. “What else could she do to me?”

“You’re letting her ruin glee for you. You used to love it. Finn, you shined up there on stage,” she said, beaming. Finn wasn’t sure he liked being told that he “shined,” but he knew what she meant. He still got such a rush from Rachel’s compliments. She was the most talented and brutally honest person he knew, so it always meant something coming from her. “Now, you just scowl and go through the motions.”

“Hey, that’s not true. I still love glee,” Finn protested. It was true; Finn was happiest when he could just forget about his problems and loose himself in the music. And in Rachel. Still, he knew that Rachel was at least partly right. When they gathered in the chorus room for rehearsals, he didn’t even attempt to hide the resentment he felt toward his ex-girlfriend and former best friend. His mom always said that he was an open book. He guessed that Rachel could read him, too.

“It’s not fair to you,” she began. He grinned. Rachel was still always so concerned about his feelings. “It’s not fair to everyone else in glee, either.” His smile faltered. So much for his feelings. “Glee used be fun and a place we all felt welcome. Now, the hostility is ruining that. Besides, we need to work together, or we’ll never have a shot at regionals.”

“Look, I’m doing my best, okay? I’m there at every rehearsal, and I think the fact that Puck’s still walking is proof that I’m trying.” Finn bristled. Who was she--who were any of them--to judge him? Why was he the one being lectured, anyway? He hadn’t noticed anyone lecturing Quinn or Puck lately.

“Finn, you were betrayed and no one begrudges you your pain. I don’t expect you to make-up with Quinn or Puck, exactly, but...you need to at least talk to Quinn.” Rachel gripped his hands more firmly in hers. “Finn, you need closure. You’ll always be angry and confused until you hear Quinn out.”

Finn shook his head, baffled. “I don’t get it. I figured you’d be the last person who’d want me to talk to Quinn and let her explain.” This conversation just proved what Finn had already guessed; he would never understand girls.

Rachel was clearly hurt by this and beginning to loose patience. “What I want, Finn, is for you to be happy. And...you aren’t.” she shook her head in frustration. “I am not defending what they did, but you need to understand why or you’ll never really get over it.” She turned to leave, opening the door to the chorus room. “Besides,” she began, playing her trump card. “You promised to make everything up to me someday. That day is today.” Head held high, Rachel exited, with her long, shiny hair swishing behind her. Well, she always did know how to make an exit.

Finn stared at the door long after Rachel had gone. He had certainly not been expecting that parting shot. This must be that emotional blackmail thing that Tyra Banks was talking about. He’d only watched her show once because it had been all about feelings and relationships and stuff, but she had been hot enough to keep his eyes glued to the TV for five whole minutes.

So, okay, he’d told Rachel that he would make it all up to her. He’d meant it and wanted to do something to show Rachel how much he cared about her. But, come on! This was way too much and totally unfair. Finn had made his decision and that was all there was to it.

Except...through everything, Rachel had been the one to stand by him. Finn knew that he screwed up by using Rachel’s feelings for him to convince her to rejoin glee. It had been low and any other girl would have never forgiven him for it, but Rachel had. Finn remembered her coming backstage and offering to rejoin them during their first concert. She had looked so vulnerable, standing there waiting to see if the group would welcome her back or reject her. He still remembered her words. If I let you down when you needed me most, I’d never be able to forgive myself. Although the whole group had been present, Finn had known that her words and covert looks had been for him alone. She had come back for him, even believing that he had used her and that there was no chance of a relationship between them.

The truth was, he'd loved spending every minute with Rachel and even let himself forget, for a little while, that they hadn't really been on a date. She had looked so cute trying to bowl, basically flinging the ball down the alley. He remembered how excited they’d both been by her unexpected (and frankly miraculous) strike. Then she'd kissed him and, oh God, he’d almost forgotten how amazing her lips felt crushed against his. Finn realized that he’d been messing with his own feelings just as much as hers. What he'd told her was the truth; he just wanted to spend more time with her and the kiss--both of them--were real. Even so, Finn had truly hurt her, and she was the last person he wanted to cause more pain. Despite all of it, Rachel was still there. Rachel, his friend. She was more than that, Finn thought, dismissing the term. Rachel, his...what, exactly? This, he supposed, was the problem.

Finn dropped heavily into a nearby chair, unable to believe that he was actually considering this. Why didn’t Rachel just ask him to invite the entire football team to take turns kicking him in the nads? Still, she asked for so little and had done so much for him. Then his head shot up in surprise. This was the first time that Rachel had actually asked him for anything, Finn realized. Could that be right? Other than demanding he rehearse more for glee, Rachel had never once asked him for a favor. For anything. How could he refuse her now?

Happy Birthday!

2008-11-11T03:43:24Z

Happy Birthday moonlitwoods!

I know that I have not been around much lately, but I really do miss you and our chats. I hope that you are having an amazing birthday!
*throws confetti*

Happy Birthday!

2008-08-13T02:37:30Z

I know that I am posting a bit late in the day, but I want to wish pili204 a very Happy Birthday! I know that I am not around as often as I used to be, but I still think that you are one of the sweetest people ever, and not just on lj. ; )

Still Around

2007-08-17T03:26:11Z

First, I just want to thank everyone who sent me birthday wishes on Monday. I truly appreciate it. ; )

I know that I owe several people e-mails, responses and/or photos from Toronto and I will get to it all, I promise. Things have been very hectic over the past couple of weeks. I really don't want to get into it all right now because nothing is set at the moment. However, I may have to pack up and relocate with less than a week's notice. This is my own personal idea of hell. I am literally in Limbo...I have no control over my life and am waiting to find out where it will take me. I promise that I will post again without being quite so vague, but I just do not have the energy right now. I am trying to stay positive, but it is very difficult at the moment.

Plus, I still have the most painful stiff neck after two weeks and have come to the conclusion that I will have to somehow fit in a doctor's visit amidst the pandemonium. *sigh* I hate these posts wherein I do nothing but complain, but I figured an update of some kind was overdue. *hugs to you all*

Happy Birthday

2007-08-12T15:24:16Z

Happy Birthday, pili204!

Have an amazing day!!! Make sure to thoroughly enjoy yourself and take advantage of the phrase, "It's my birthday and we're doing what I want to do!" You only get to do this once a year, so take advantage of it while you can. Trust me.

Nowhere to hide

2007-07-18T06:48:31Z

WARNING: Rant about spoilers below. No actual or rumored spoilers posted. Honest!

Is nowhere safe??? I wanted to be good and wait until I got my hands on the book, but spoilers keep finding me! I am not looking, but they are everywhere!!!

You know, at first I thought that maybe they were fake. Cleverly done, but possibly one big trick. Still, the more you hear something, the harder it becomes to dismiss it. Now, the supposed chapter titles and a photo of the chapter title page has surfaced on-line, seeming to confirm the rumors I've already seen. Please, please, let them be fake! I want to find out everything for myself. I just keep hoping that all of these "spoilers" are from the same widespread forged source. I don't wanna know! : (

Saw OotP--NO Spoliers

2007-07-11T07:44:47Z

I went to a midnight showing and just got home. I will not ruin it for the spoiler-phobic, so follow the cut if you are interested. I have not included any plot spoilers, but I do give my opinion and discuss a bit about the structure of the film.

While I enjoyed the film, I feel like it really does not do the story justice to the audience members who have not read the book. Sure, this can be said about all of the film adaptations, but this would be my main issue with this film in particular. I have always felt that this would be--by far--the toughest HP novel to adapt as a film and I feel that I was right. The novel is in Harry's head for so much of the time, showing the reader Harry's transition into a justifiably emotional and angry teenager. Whether you love Book 5 or hate it, I feel that this is the novel's strongest point. It is the most character centered of the novels, as opposed to those that are more plot-driven. Since in the film we are not in Harry's head in the same way, I feel that the plot needed to be more fluid for those who do not already know the entire story. For fans of the novel, I feel like this was like reading Cliff's Notes--we are given the important information, but if we do not read along with the actual novel, we are missing out on substance.

Still, after harping on what should have been done (in my humble opinion), I enjoyed it. When I go to see the films, I remind myself that they are not the books and that I need to separate the two in order to enjoy them. Despite the possibility of being disappointed in what was not included in the film, I feel that those who have read the book first will enjoy it more than those who have not (see above Cliff's Notes analogy). I do not think that it surpassed the film version of GoF, but I think that GoF was a much easier to story to put on film and it stands more on its own as an individual film than OotP, which does well in the context of a series. I feel that this is the main reason that the film seems to be getting mixed reviews. Reviewers who judge it as a part of a series seem to like it more than those who want it to stand or fall on its own.

This was not my favorite of the films, but neither was it my least favorite. While they are all Harry Potter films, sometimes I feel that it is like comparing apples and oranges. I suppose the bottom line is that I honestly enjoyed it, despite the fact that it was an abridged version of the story. I understand--despite my personal disappointment--why certain things were cut from the film and why certain characters barely got any screen time. I stand by the fact that this story was a hell of a difficult one to successfully adapt for the big screen, but it was more successful than not.

Driving Lessons DVD

2007-07-04T01:14:54Z

Hello all. I just wanted to let anyone who may be interested know that Rupert's film, Driving Lessons, was released on DVD in the US and Canada today. Even if you are not a Rupert fan, I think that you will really enjoy the film. It co-stars the amazing, Academy Award Nominated actresses Julie Walters and Laura Linney.

The DVD has the cuts in language that the US release needed to get the PG-13 rating. This annoys me to no end since I saw the uncut British version last year at the Tribeca Film Festival and the cursing is important to the tone of these scenes and the overall film, but at least we finally have the DVD! Enjoy!

I'm alive...

2007-06-21T02:13:30Z

Hi all. I have received several messages asking where the hell I am. I'm here, currently residing in the state of Limbo. I am looking for a new job now that I am done with grad school. I've been on several interviews and I am just so sick of waiting. I was offered a job, but I turned it down...don't ask, it's a long story. Let's just say that had I accepted it, I would have lost my sanity within a month. My entire existence hinges on when and where I find a new job. Come September 1st, I have no idea where I will even be living...this scares the shit out me! Seriosuly, I am a planner and this is my idea of a living hell.

I know that I owe several of you e-mails or some other form of communication...you know who you are and I promise that I will contact you! Even though I am done with grad school, things are hectic. The job hunt is a full-time job in and of itself. I also have to go spend a few days with my family because a friend of the family died. I have nothing in black because the color washes me out, so I have to figure out a time to go funeral clothes shopping. Most depressing reason to shop ever. Not sure whether to laugh or cry over the fact that this is what I am currently worried about.

Other than that, things are fine. Seriously, this is just an up-date, not a rant or me whining. Honestly, I know how good I have it. I hope that everyone is well! Once things calm down...do they ever?...I hope to pull fewer vanishing acts!

Happy Birthday!

2007-05-05T01:57:18Z

Happy Birthday to magnolia_mama! I have been pretty much MIA around livejournal lately, but I had to pop over and wish you a very Happy Birthday. I hope that you had an amazing day!

Happy Birthday!

2007-02-10T02:14:16Z

Happy Birthday, weasleyqueen1! You are, hands down, one of the coolest people on my flist. You are a true friend, and you have amazing taste since you have the same interests as I do. I mean, how great was "The Office" last night? ; ) *hugs*

Today's Post is Brought To You By the Letters W, T and F

2007-01-30T05:36:27Z

Here is a real WTF? moment...

Naked, Greased Student Interrupts Lunch

It was just so odd that I needed to share. That is all.

HBO TONIGHT!

2007-01-28T18:47:49Z

Hi all. For those who are unaware, Dan Radcliffe's guest appearance on the TV show "Extras" will premiere on HBO tonight at 10 PM. You may have already caught it on-line, but if you haven't (or even if you have) you should watch it. It is hilarious!!! Even if you've never an episode of "Extras" before, this is a can't miss! If you have seen the show before, I happen to think that this is the funniest episode yet. Seriously...watch! Also, Warwick Davis (Prof. Flitwick) is in it, too. Dan plays a twisted version of himself and you will die laughing!

Brief intro to show for newbies: Ricky Gervais (creator and star of the original British version of "The Office") stars as Andy Millman, a middle aged man trying to break into show business but has only been able to get jobs as a film extra. At the end of the first season (it is now the second season), Andy's idea for a sit-com was purchased by--and subsequently changed-- by the BBC. Andy is now becoming famous as the star and creator the show, but he is no longer proud of what he has created. You will see a brief clip of his show and you will understand why! Andy also has the worst agent in the entire world, and his best friend, Maggie, is still a film extra and while sweet and well-intentioned, she is not quite playing with a full deck.

For those who have HBO-On-Demand, you can watch the episode now in the "HBO Series" section ("Extras" episode 9).

Changing gears, I know that I've been MIA lately, but things have just been ridiculously hectic. I have no free time whatsoever and am just trying to stay sane. I think I may be loosing that battle. Seriously.

Sad, but true

2006-12-30T05:47:08Z

I am visiting my parents for the weekend. It is nearly 1 AM and they are out at a concert and I am here on the computer-- in my pajamas. What is wrong with this picture???

Hey, it's good advice...

2006-12-18T04:05:22Z

And so this is Xmas,
I hope you have hope813.

Merry Xmas (War is Over)
from the Christmas Song Generator.

OWL from Charlie Weasley

2006-12-12T00:58:45Z

So, it's Charlie Weasley's birthday and he's wondering when the hell I will be updating his story, Out of Reach. He sent me an OWL complaining that my readers want to know who his mystery woman is, and I've assured him that I will be getting back to the story as soon as this semester ends later this month.

I also told him that I do feel bad about the delay and that others have contacted me with the same complaint. I reminded him that grad school and work give me no extra time, but he is very persistent. So, Happy Birthday, Charlie...my gift to you is my promise to get back to writing your next chapter shortly!

ETA: I jumped the gun by a few hours since Charlie's birthday is on Dec. 12th.

Random Rant

2006-12-09T04:40:19Z

'Tis the season...for Chia Pets??? I am beyond sick of seeing t.v. commercials for these freaky things. What is going on? Do people actually give Chia Pets, or God forbid--Chia Heads, as Christmas gifts? They even have Chia Pets for cats and Chia Scooby-Doo Heads, for crying out loud! I find it mind boggling that someone has likely made a fortune from this ridiculous novelty item. It is madness!

ETA: Since posting this 20 minutes ago, I have seen the bloody commercial three more times. Enough is enough!

ETA (Part 2): Chia herbs for cooking? Are you freaking kidding me? I changed channels and the commercials just keep coming!